9 months ago, I introduced Scott to my biggest potential client.
Scott and I are both in import/export business. We met in the International Windows Covering Expo in Atlanta ten years back. We were both struggling to start up a business back then and right off the bat we took a liking to each other. A business is a business, and businesses are about money. But we have something more common than just wanting to make money. We have visions. You see, we are two guys who look further than just to make a small window treatment company profitable. We want to “make the American Landscape” from inside the window of every house. You cannot look out a window without our products framing the landscape. Either to make it luxurious, lustrous, fabulous or ridiculous; we are here to make your view come true. Thus, “defining” the American Landscape is our shared ambition.
The kind of business we run is, you can call it an ‘independent’, or a one-man operation. With, occasionally during the busy season, a part-time secretary. Although not seeing a yellow brick road in the immediate future, we get by with the knowing knowledge that a small amount of houses are decorated with our products, and the house owners look out that window and lo and behold, there’s their American dream.
Things got a little sticky after the economic crisis in 2008. I guess people are not considering so much about the ‘framing’ of their dreams when they are losing their jobs. At least those who were let go from Lehmann Brothers got the permission to take the office blinds home as part of the compensation for their salaries.
By March this year, all I did was sitting at the office desk looking at a dead phone and counting down the seconds to heat up my lunch box. Scott wasn’t doing so much better either. Besides his financial problem, he was in the meantime going through a difficult divorce, having to find a new apartment, and shifting from one lousy messy client order to another. He has an ability to make his misery sound like the most miserable in the world. But I hear him out.
That was when he told me about his meeting with this guy who could ‘bring things together’. Basically, this guy manages capitals. Other peoples’ capital. And guess what? He’s got a vision. We both got visions. So they hooked up through a friend, had a meeting. Scott gave him the whole “making the American Landscape” speech. And the guy liked it. Said he might be able to work out a plan.
I said that sounds exiting. But this “American Landscape” shit is part of my idea too. Although we have each of our own company, it doesn’t mean that we have to compete. We can both live. I don’t need all the windows in America using my product. Only one window in each house will do, the living room window. He can have all the bathroom windows. Of course I didn’t say that. But I suggested we pool our sources together. In this difficult economy, we should work together to put the idea of the importance of window treatment into people’s head.
There’s this client I have been working on for years. The company is as big as a radioactive reactor. The CEO and I are in good terms. I try to be very nice to him. I did the best I can except for taking him to restaurants and buying him lap dances at the stripper bar. They have been in a good standing contract with a company for exclusive exporting rights. The contract is not going to end up anytime soon if there’s nothing wrong. I have been waiting but haven’t gotten anywhere. There were times the CEO looked into the possibilities of us working together and had presented the idea to the company. The chance just hasn’t really materialized.
Why don’t we all meet each other’s resources and see what happens? So we did. While we were all sitting around in his plushy office shooting the breeze, the CEO’s assistant poked his head in and he happens to be a longtime friend of Scott’s.
“What a surprise. I thought, ‘that voice sounds familiar.’” The assistant knitted his eyebrows together, made a funny face.
And when it was his turn to introduce his party to me, Scott balked. Just before the meeting, he called on the phone, said “I am not so familiar with this guy, you know. I am not sure. We just met. I thought it would be blunt to have you showing up like that. Why don’t I meet with him first and call you when he agrees to meet you?”
To that I said, “Whatever.” I was not so happy but what could I do? And I practically showed up at the coffee shop for five minutes and had to leave for my other appointment.
3 months went by. My company was hanging by the string and it was going to snap anytime. I sat at my desk watching a spider weaving a web in a corner of the ceiling when suddenly the phone rang.
A friend told me about an opportunity to team up with a medium size company which needs a little more capital to give a push to reach a wider plane. I had nothing better to do, so I agreed to meet with the owner. The guy was cool. Not pushy, not desperate, not arrogant and not perky either. Just cool. We agreed on most of the issues. And the best part is we keep separate operations. I still have the whole control of my company.
I went into a contract and when I told Scott about it, he was happy for me. “It’s not as though this is a money tree, instead of growing leaves it grows dollar bills. But if we work hard and do the right thing, the future is gonna be great.” I said, regarding the deal.
In the meantime Scott’s company was like a sinking ship. He worked like crazy blocking up everything to keep the water out. But one problem after the other; he just couldn’t seem to keep them down. And don’t forget the lengthy divorce. “Look up. Be optimistic. You’ll never know your big break might just be around the corner.” I tried to boost him up.
Since the teaming up, things are doing well for me. The threat of having to close the shop was over and I am not so burned out about the financial situation. Although there are still things that worry me, they are on a more constructive level. Put it this way, if before I was in the basement, now I am on the 1st floor. I have a different view now.
A week ago I caught a cold from my boyfriend. He got it first and passed it on to me. It came down quick and I was not prepared for it. My body fought for 2 days before giving in. I was in bed all day and coughing up phlegm. I wrapped myself up in a blanket and tried to read “The High Window” by Raymond Chandler. I was hoping to catch up on my literary education while getting sick. But every several pages, I’d get so tired and fall asleep.
On the day of my boyfriend’s birthday, we were both at the end cycle of the cold. We didn’t have a party. We only planned for a dinner at a nice restaurant. I called up to make a reservation. The restaurant was in Clint Hill on a quiet street. It was converted from an old drug store. They kept the décor and everything. It was rather a nice idea. The food was fine and we had a bottle of wine which was exceptional. After that we went to a bar nearby for a quick drink then we went home.
Just when we got home Scott texted to see if I am feeling better. I called back and told him to stop by for a glass of wine. He came over in the cold rain and we opened another bottle of wine. We chatted about everything and nothing and I found Scott was in good spirits. We had some laugh and then Scott asked me about the CEO, his character and my experience with him. We were just talking so I didn’t think he was asking it for certain purposes. So I talked about this and that. How he is good at some things and perhaps not so trustful to others. But when I turned the question back to him and asked why he wants to know, Scott paused for a moment.
“Actually, we are about to go into a contract.” He said.
“Really?” I couldn’t believe what I’ve heard.
“Well, it’s only a proposal to the board. We are gonna have to make a presentation about the proposal.” He said.
“Wow…,” I had no words.
“It’s the assistant, that old friend of mine. About 2 months ago, the company they have been working with declared bankruptcy all of a sudden. They had to replace a new company as soon as possible and go in there to freeze up the properties and there were some serious financial risks involved. The assistant pushed for me to take up that vacancy quickly. The CEO was buried deep in that and other problems, burned out and frustrated. I wasn’t so sure because the stake was pretty high. I had to be able to round up all my cash in a short time and borrow some more. My friend just pushed and pushed and he got me on board.” He said.
I definitely felt hurt. This was two months ago and he is only telling me now? “All the while I was not sure. So I didn’t say anything to you.” He said, “Even now, it’s just a proposal. We’ll still need to see how it goes after the meeting.”
We chatted a little more and I congratulated him and wished him luck and then we said good night to each other.
My heart sank right after he went out of the door. I couldn’t understand what my feeling was and why I was feeling this. Strictly speaking, this guy just grabbed the chance that had presented itself to him. I would not have enough capital to take it up since I just got in a contract that I am very happy with and wouldn’t want to change it for the entire world. So I should be happy that I helped him to get an opportunity of his life time. But I couldn’t even find a breeze of smile on my face. I wouldn’t want to say I felt cheated on because that’s not how I felt. But I knew I was emotionally very unbalanced.
I would go on to say that I was actually pissed. I knew there was no use for me to be upset. And I shouldn’t be upset about it. It’s just that, I introduced him and it seemed to me he got it easy. Too easy. I would think he would have to wait one or two years and worked on the CEO a bit. Or maybe he should’ve kissed the CEO’s bottom some.
But there’s a lot on the line for him. If he didn’t get this chance, his company would have to shut the door. He then wouldn’t be able to pay for his newly rented apartment. And his divorce lawyer. And the alimony coming up on the horizon.
Would I like it if he had told me earlier? Not really. Perhaps I would have preferred that he not telling me at all. But then things would be worse when I eventually find it out.
This is a situation that you have to take it as how it is. No if’s, no but’s and don’t explain. That doesn’t mean I can just ignore how I feel. I felt overwhelmingly unbalanced. I took two sleeping pills to knock myself out that night.
When I awoke, it was snowing outside. Everything was gray. The sky was gray, the trees were gray, the snow was gray and people were also gray. The color reflected from my eyes to my brain. There was a resource I couldn’t use and I didn’t mind sharing it with a friend. I wondered why I could not just be happy about the whole thing. I thought about comparing it to the situation when in college you used to let a friend copy your answer in an exam. Then it turned out you were flunked and he got a B+. But that still couldn’t make me feel less sore.
“To help others is the source of happiness.” Someone once said. I really want to believe that and I have done just that but I am not feeling a little bit breezy.
I rode my bike to the gym. At least if I keep my daily routine going maybe I can get pass it somehow. Just when I put my arms on the machine and was doing vertical straight leg raise, a thought hit me. What I was feeling was like a friend I invited over to my house for a drink. Three drinks and a cigarette later, he said casually, holding my liquor, “By the way, old chum, your daughter and I love each other. And we are getting married.”
Since I will not have a child in my life, I think that must’ve been my one and only “I just married off my daughter” moment. If I can do the comparison, what I have felt must be the same kind of feeling for all the fathers in the world. I am not sure I can give my blessings to Scott, yet. But ten years down the road, he would thank me for giving him a wonderful daughter. And we would have a good laugh about this day, I hope.
